A bit of Joy

2008-10-15T23:18:00.000-07:00

In the blink of an eye

Have you ever been warned to enjoy your youth because in the blink of an eye your youth will be gone?
Well I had many times. I found myself going along, always being told I was too young, and as I aged, compared to my family and friends I was still the young one, the little sister type.
I would have done anything to age, in every birthday card my sister would write " Now you can say your..." and would write an age older then I was turning.

Until this year... I was going along feeling too young, not ready for anything, and then one night I went to sleep and everything changed. I woke up and I was 25! I was getting told I had wrinkles, or if checking out a guy I would be told he was only 21,and too young for me. Getting asked by people of all ages if I was older then my sister. (who by they way is seven years older then myself)
A student at the school I work in thought I was too old to have kids!! That cut like a knife to the heart, and on and on the comments come... some I know are just out of teasing and I must admit funny. But when you keep hearing the same thing long enough, you start to believe it.

What if I've become so old that the only men who are interested in dating me are geophysicists, and they are only interested in carbon dating? (another great comment that came my way?)

Do you think you have a time frame in life where you are the best you're ever going to be? I feel I just missed my mark?

I went as far as a sad attempted today and looked up mail order grooms, just to make sure I had a back up if I came to need one... I found I was under qualified for even a desperate man.

So the next question I asked myself was..."Is this it? Was I meant to be single? Was this God's plan for my life? And if so then why have I longed my whole life to be married?" After all marriage won't solve my problems maybe add to them... And the answer I got.... nothing.

The whole world is looking for love, to the point we will sell out on love and marry a strange, marry for money, for a companion.
Just so we won't have to go places alone, or be the third wheel in a group of friends, be the one who goes looking like a mad woman to find someone to fill the 'and guest' spot.

As time goes by the men get fewer, the desperation more and the hope dwindles...
I hate the 'you're still young you'll find someone' line. If 25 years have past without on single option and I have moved away, to find the competition more and the amount of men less... you're left to think things will now only happen if you have some Devine intervention, because if you hit the online dating now, you maybe waisting a good ten more year.

How is it one day your young, the next you're mid-twenties, and the next you wake up 60 and had wished my life away? Why can't I be happy single?
There's a reason for it, if only I could get past the dumb questions the world throws my way... "Why don't you have a man?" (yes, it's fully my choice... ha!) "Are you gay?" (no, and it seems they have more luck then I do these days) "You must be picky!" ( your right! I don't want a man who will cheat on me, or not a Chirstian).

In a blink of an eye, time disappered, and age crept in to stay.

2008-06-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

When

Lately I have been so consumed with death.
A few years back when a friend of mine passed away and it shook me to the core. I realized not everyone was going to live to old age and bad things could happen to me and people I love. Then this year two other people I know, both in their twenties died also in a car crash. Right then and there it started. God became to me a hit man and I was just a sitting duck.. waiting to be shot at. I haven't left town since, I keep feeling pains that might not be anything or real even. But lately all I have in my head is I or another person I care about is next. I wish I could just trust God for the out come... anything He has for me will be right and good, I know this and yet my brain keeps fighting it.
Anyhow, in a few weeks my family and myself, God willing will be headed over to England and all I keep thinking is; is this it.
Was this my life and it's done!
I know what my Bible has to say... I know what my family has to say, but somehow the fear hits and I can't stop thinking something bad has to happen to us again.
The on going fight of " Lord please don't take me yet" and the " But Your will be done it my life". The "I know you are Love" but " You're going to kill me".
" He has plans for me of a hope, and a future, plans for good and not evil" but " Please Not Yet!". I plead for a husband and children, yet I know He should be all I want and need. He shows me time and time again, that he has given me more time... I better start living for Him and not this world.
So then I feel guilt... if heaven is where we all want to end, it's the goal, the mark, and the prize. Why do I fear going to Him?
Is it the fear of the unknown?
The fear that I might not get to go?
Am I calling Him a liar? ( I sure hope not!)
I just wish I had faith like a child! I wish I just had the ticket in my hand, the halo around my head, and my only wants here on earth, is the want to be with Him. Know Him and be so in love with Him... all other wants and needs fade.
I want to trust Him, not to have to think of what I'll eat, drink, where I will live, if I'll ever get married, have kids, or live to be 50 let alone 25.
This has been going on for months and I'm so tired of my own thoughts.. That right now I wish I was a puppet.
Why is it the more I want to be on fire for Him the farther I seem to be?
Why can't I just trust Him for the out come? How do you let go of self and step into life and truth?

Someday...someday....

To Him who is faithful to keep us from falling be all Glory, Honor, and Praise. Amen

2008-05-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

I HATE PLANNING PARTIES

Two of my good friends are having their birthdays soon.. So I thought I would plan a little get together of friends, a BBQ/campfire.

Most of my friends are married and their husbands are good friends with my brothers, but the boys never seem to want to go, and in the end it is like pulling teeth to get them any where. (they are the ones who always have the most fun)

I love God, but looking at the boys I think God made me the wrong sex. They have the most fun at parties... never have to set up, go shopping, have their friend's babies at everything. All they have to do is show up and act as they have just done the world a favor.... Add another gem to their crown's Lord.

I just don't get what the hardship is about spending time with their friends in town, but their friends out of town.. now theirs a good time.

I don't even care if they come, other than not wanting to hear people asking where they are the whole night.

P.S. I just wanted to let off steam, and am pretty sure after a year of not being on here, no one looks any more.

2007-06-02T15:50:00.001-07:00

Dan & Joyanne's wedding pictures

2007-04-30T00:10:00.000-07:00

I just Discovered Face Book

Sorry If I'm not on here anymore I'll get back to it, I just found this site thats fun and so many people I know are on.
But I'll write when I get back from my trip to Ohio... five more days untill I'm gone!!!

2007-04-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

Sick

Runny nose, Blood shot eye, Can't breath!
Sick.
Sore throat, Swollen glands,pluged up nose!
Sick.
Funny speech, coughing, dry lips!
Sick.
Pluged ears, hot and cold, clamy feet!
Sick.

I hate this!!!!!

2007-04-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

Exclusively Yours

I know I haven't written in a long time, not that I haven't anything to type but what do you share with people about your life.

Two good friends of mine have been trying to set me up on blind dates and so I agreed to one only if it would be a group date. ( I know I'm 23 but the fact I still live at home, with older siblings is a little trun off of dating because I feel like a little girl and scared to say I have a date)
So this guy turns out to be great, nice, good looking, tells me I'm beautiful. after the night he asked to see me the next night... now I get worried.. he wants to see me again um....um... ok.
I don't know what to do how am I going to have this really date?
So I call up some friends and ask them to go for coffee and then call him to say I had made plans with friends if he would like to join. Turns out to be another nice night,he even paid for my food and coffee!!!! but then at the end of the night he asks me again if he could take me on a real date on friday, so I tell him I don't like to make plans. ( which my friend up and say I make plans all the time... this is were I kick her under the table and tell her I only ever make plans with her)
He then asks if he could then call me on the day in question to ask me out ( I can't let my family see me leave the house all dressed up) so I tell him I hate getting phone calls. He says " ok then, can I text you?" I couldn't believe this!
I get home and text him right away to say I'm not interested in a relationship. Then I see him at my friends house the other night and he is acting so nice and so sweet.... I give the cold shoulder.
I am going to die alone!!! So there you have it an Exclusive story for the world to know.

2007-03-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

The Ides of March

I was at a friends house yesterday and we had been talking about the bad luck I have been having with my car.
An hour later we get a knock on the door, the man asks for the owner of the blue car out front saying he was backing up, swung wide and hit my car. ( so nice of him not to make a hit and run)
This is the damage and it's costing $1900 to fix.... I feel so bad for the guy!!! I know it was an accident and I had nothing to do with it, my parking was not to blam ( I measured after) but I feel almost like I should let him off, even thought I have been told not to over a hundred times ( if I wanted to sell it would really knock down the value). But accidents happen ( more often in my direction, but happen).
That was my day on the Ides of March.

2007-03-09T21:07:00.000-08:00

White Ninja is Stalking Me

Funny thing about this comic is John showed it to me right after I told him the kid I take care of cut his lip with his teeth when he fell today ( just learning to walk). I never saw a baby bleed before and since it was his mouth there was a lot of blood.

2007-02-26T19:54:00.000-08:00

Out of the Ordinary

Today I'm having one of those blah days that makes you think about life and what you wanted to be when you grow-up.
The question teachers ask in school that haunts you for the rest of your life, the qustion you look back to and see that you never made it or you became something better.
This weekend I saw my old youth pastor that I haven't seen in eight years, and he asked me what I was up to, I guess that is what started me thinking today.
I know this makes me sound full of myself but I always thought I was going to become something out of the ordinary, I was going to have this great job, be a wife and mother and I dreamed that in a way everything I touched would turn to gold.
I built my dreams so high I guess there was only one way for them to go and that was down, I seem to look around at my family/friends and there amazing talents and feel like I could never hit the mark. I hate having these thought but they come anyway, I know were they come from, however .....BLAH

2007-02-22T16:02:00.000-08:00

Can You Find The Dog In The Moss?

Note: dave is back to blogging check his out

2007-02-15T15:33:00.000-08:00

Will you be my Valentine?

Last night I went out with a friend who's valentines date stood her up, so we head to Boston Pizza ( her choice not mine).
We had a good time talking and having other friends join us, I really enjoyed Valentines ( in fact I woke up loving the day and happy I was single.)

Well after a while of talking this group of guys walked in and sat at the table next to us, they kept looking at our table but we ignored them, about 45 minutes later one of the guys asked me to borrow a pen I was just using so I pass it over, and thought nothing of it.
After about another 10 minutes one of them comes back over to the table and gives me the pen back and then produces a paper heart that he had taken of the wall. He had scribbled off the name that was on it and put his name and phone number ( which I didn't see until after they left the building, I never looked at the heart before they walked out).
He hands me the heart and says " would you be my Valentines" I smiled a little hesitantly, " what do you want if I said yes" ( not sure what his move was) with all his friends looking on he says " just a hug". My friend pipes up "I think she could do that for you" ( he wasn't drunk and he was rather good looking). " So will you be my Valentine?" he asked again, I answer that I would love to and get up to give him a hug. He gave me this hugh smile and walks back to his table, one of his friends pats him on the back and rather loudly says "she cute and had a nice smile".
That was it I went back to talking to the people I was with, and then they left. I was so shocked.. for I think that the two girls I was with are much better looking then myself. ( plus I was just getting over the flu)
Needless to say it was corny but sweet and made my day, small this seem to amuse me.

2007-02-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

eye spy with my giant eye, someone that likes ....

my giant eye!

2007-02-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

Praise God Anyway

Yesterday I was so upset! my car died and I felt like a small part of my heart was riped out and stomped on. I think the hard part is that this was my first car, my first big purches in life. How this one big story begins was my friend called me up to come over for dinner and a movie at five.

So I'm headed to her place and am waiting at a red light here in town, the car behind me keeps honking his horn.
I think to myself why is he honking? I'm in the turning lane and I don't know him, so I have no clue why he keeps honking. I turn in my seat and give him a smile and the guy then jumps out of his car and comes to my passanger door, yelling at me through the window that my frount right trie is flat.
Great just great!
I bought the car for 3500 dollars, in two years it had cost me 4000 dollars in repairs and now there is another cost problem. I just didn't want this!!
I have an eye infection so I look like crap and I'm not feeling well, all I wanted to do was go to my friends and have a good evening, not have to be seen around town.

So I head across the road to the gas station, call home and wait for my dad to come help me. He filled up my tire enough to get me to O.K. tire down the road, they were about to close but nicely took me in. ( I think to myself this is going to set me back around a hundred dollars for the new tire and work, and I am going to be late for dinner but its just a small set back . It's all going to be O.K.)
The people couldn't find anything wrong with the tire and don't know why it was leaking or how. So they put my tire back on and this all this just cost me time, for my dad was nice and paid the twenty dollars ( since I am right now out of work).

I say good bye to my dad and try again to get to this dinner.

I make it to a stop sign, ( not three feet from the store) start to head across the road and my driving wheele begins to freeze up, my oil light and battery light come on, then my car altogether dies, lucky for me I am able to pull off the road, into a parking spot side ways before she died fully.
Hoping my dad was almost home, I call again... almost laughing at my bad luck and crying too.
Trying to get together anything of value to take with me, I hear my mom tell me my dad was still out and she would try to get hold of one of my brothers that was driving around town.

The weather outside is freezing, and I have no heat in my car for I can't get it running and then to add salt to my open wound, my period starts... the one time I ware tan pants or anything not black ( sorry to any guy reading this) .
So I'm sitting there cold, emotional, out of a 7500 dollar car, hungy, a sore infected eye, and I just quit my job a month ago.... I was just wanting to have a fun night at a friend!!

After ten minutes my brother shows up to get me and tells me I have to go home and call a tow- truck, I can't just leave my car sitting there.

Three hours later I get to my friends house, but like my mum kept telling me last night: "Praise God anyway"

So I need to say; I'm thank-ful for the man who got out of his car to tell me, for living in a small town with family to come and help me, for having a car for two years, and that it all wasn't worse.

2007-01-13T11:56:00.000-08:00

My name is Euurn

Just before I woke up this morning I had this dream, I was this big health freak and no matter how much exercise I did I could not lose weight. Well in my dream Grace was trying to make me feel better and made be this cup of tea, I took a sip of the tea and all of a sudden I started to get fat at a surprising rate. I started to panic and asked grace if she had put sugar into the tea, " Of course" Grace replied.
I started to cry for I new that any suger in my body and I would turn really really fat. As they rushed me to the hospital I was almost 500 lbs and by time we got there I was weighing in at 660lbs. As they asked for my name Grace told them it was Euurn and then told the secretary how to spell my name.
I was so frustrated, the doctors were telling the nurses to call the news crew because they had just admitted the fattest woman on earth into there hospital, but that wasn't what was upsetting me, it was that they kept getting my name wrong from family and friends.
I woke up with my teeth clenched, but then began to laugh at the name my brian was giving out in my dream. I had never heard this name before but I have now been trying to say it all day.

2006-12-22T22:29:00.000-08:00

haha, oops

Tonight I had this table of four very hot men, all looking like they stepped out of a CK ad.
Well I'm very sick ( with a cold, but I dressed up to look better then I really feel) and as I am taking their order I feel my nose start to run. I think I can do this, I can wait to blow my nose.... and then they made me laugh..... can you guess what happens next...... That right.. out of my nose comes some mucus. I try to cover my shame fast and with my note pad as if I was laughing behind it, with a quick cover up I finish their order and act as nothing happened, but I know they saw.
If it could only have been women or some old people I would have been embarrassed ( but not this badly), but it had to be four CK models and I just had to snort mucus at them.
le sigh...

2006-12-16T22:50:00.000-08:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Me and Stephen Hawking - not just pretty faces !!

2006-12-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

Our family Christmas photo

It funny how we took this to be our Christmas picture, no wonder I can't get into the Christmas mood this year. I have only ten days before Christmas eve, and still have gifts to buy ( not new) but I find with each year that passes, Christmas comes faster and my love for the season fades.
I have been playing Christmas music in my car since November and now to me it's just the music that carries me to and from work each day.
Where has that feeling gone that we all enjoyed as children?

2006-12-07T18:52:00.000-08:00

I would like to take this opportunity to say how amazing I think my sister Grace is!! She is super swell. I wish sometimes I could be just like her. These are a list of things I like about her...
1) She is tricky (this is a good thing trust me)
2) She is clever ... VERY clever.
3) She is lovely and kind
4) She has nice feet
5) She really listens (most of the time :D)
6) She is a good cook and is very cleanly (cleanliness doesn't mean much to me, but it is something I admire about her.)
7) She can spell words like, expidishously, expdeshishly... expeditiously?
8) She takes care of her teeth. (even flosses ....most of the time)
9) She is both young and mature
10) She is an amazing sleuth!

11) She loves me and probably you too!

2006-12-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

December 23rd

As of December 23rd I will no longer be working at Boston Pizza.... I FINALLY QUIT!!!!!! YEAH!!
I just wanted to share the good news, I will be a little sad but after two years I felt like God was telling me it was time.

2006-12-05T23:02:00.000-08:00

Crazy Lady

This woman was to good to pass up writing about.

When I went to work yesterday their was this woman and at first she kept on talking into her lighter about things that were going on around her. Then she went outside in only a tank top to smoke ( which is odd for you can still smoke inside of BP's) The whole time she was outside she would talk to herself grap snow in both hands and then place them on the windows.

When she came back inside, she came up to me with a handful of garbage and a purse and asked me to throw it out and would I like her name and number.
"No thats ok" I held out my had to take the trash and she gives me the purse insead?
" What would you like me to do with this ?"
" I said to throw it out, do you need me name and number?"
"No" I took the purse from her and threw it out like she asked and then with the trash still in her hand she goes into the bathroom. So my friend and I take a look inside this bag she wanted to get rid of, inside it was full of creamers?????
She comes out of the bathroom in a hurry and demands for a glass of water ( as if she had no time to waste.) She eats the lemon off of the glass and then takes the water back to the bathroom... comes out sopping wet, holding a towel, mosses, and a hair brush...asking for a nother glass of ice water.
After this, she leaves dripping wet outside for another smoke and to leave more ice hand prints on the window.
Come back opens her suit case takes out cloths and back to the washroom, comes back sits on the ground and starts to put lotion onto her legs, well all the other customers are looking on in horror and bewilderment.
In the mean time we're cracking up laughing with no avail to stop... and feeling a little bad about our rudeness..... That is untill she came over and put her wet trash into our ice bin, we had to clean up the mess for about ten min..
After that she was good for a half an hour just talking into her lighter, we had to stop her when she put her shoes she was changing on to the table, telling her this was a resturant not a home. In which she told her lighter she wasn't daft to think this was a home and we must be crazy to tell her such... a little more time passes and she is back in her case pulling out pads ( they were not in any clean casement) of all different sizes and places them on the table ( the guy customers looked like they were going to be sick) she told us she had to choose the size the wrong one just won't do and to please leave her alone ( she yells into her lighter).

After a bit we totally lost her and had to walk around the entire building to make sure she wasn't bothering anyone on the resturant side. In the end we had to kick her out, as she is yelling into the lighter like she was calling the cops on us, to tell them we were miss treating her and what the bartender was wearing so they could come to tell her off for her rudeness.
I guess before she left she appied for a job.... You should have seen it, it would have made you laugh.

If the spelling is hard to read or the way I wrote this is, I'm sorry I was trying to remember this whole great ordeal to the "T". However I do think I left some things out... She did however make my night and I hope she gets the job... I don't think I would ever be board at work again.

2006-11-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

A little bit of Gossip

Tonight at work I was so embarrassed, Mr. Ice Tea came in and the women I work with thought it was time to take matters into their own hands.
First they send over one person to ask him if he was single, he says yes... but they couldn't leave matters there... my manager has to go over and tell him I like him.... then comes to tell me that the ball is now in my court... I couldn't believe it!!!
I was almost sick to my stomach in fear, I still had to serve these two guys their meals and dessert. So when Mr. Ice tea went to the bathroom I went over to apologize to his friend for being bothered all night by the other staff, he said it was no problem but I told him I was sorry and so embarrassed.
Just when I thought all was over and done ( for they had paid me and had left the bar side) the one who asked if he was single called him back into the resturant, also to tell him I liked him and would most likely like to go for coffee with him some time.
The poor guy all he wanted to do was come in and eat and he gets hounded like he was back in high school. I know they thought they were doing me a favour by asking, but I don't think that should be done at work nor to a customer.
He was nice enough and told them that he liked me and why do they think he comes in so often, and that he would be back. However I think he was just being kind and trying to get out of Boston Pizza safely.
They then asked why I couldn't of asked him out for coffee and I replied that it wasn't my place.. I don't think any girl should take that roll and ask a guy out.

The most embarrassing part was.. they were being so loud hounding me... in hearing range about him when he wasn't even two feet away. Also all the staff... even the kitchen came out to take a look at him pointing to his table, to show the newcomers who he was.
Great start to my night!!

2006-11-24T22:49:00.000-08:00

Body Song

My friend at work taught me this song to sing to people who try to come into my personal bubble tonight, I loved it so much that I wanted to share it with other people.

" My body's nobody's body but mine, you have have your own body, so let me have mine!"

You need the music but.. IT'S GREAT TRUST ME.

2006-11-03T09:36:00.000-08:00

Sergeant Major

Yesterday morning at 7:30 am, I am woken by the vibrations of my cell phone ( by my ear).
In my groggy morning voice ( all dry and huskie) I greet my unwanted caller with a hello?
" Hi this is Sergeant Major blah, blah, blah" the voice answers, now at this point I'm still not awake and am very lost as to why I am getting this early morning wake up call.
" Who is this?" I ask coming more to life,
" Sergeant Major blah, blah, blah returning your call Sergeant someone"
" I'm sorry if I sound like a man in the morning, but I'm a girl and you have just called my cell phone"
"Oh!.. sorry about the inconveince and good-day" After the call I thought I might as well stay up for I had to be at the gym in a hour, but since I was still in bed I fell back to sleep until ten, missing my friends call wondering where I was and also my alarm . So why did I wake up for the Sergeant Major's call?
I did think it was interesting to get a morning wake up call from such a high up man.

2006-10-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

Bad Dreams

Lastnight I had this dream..... I'm in a house with my family and friends and in this house we keep finding pictures of dead women and in their arms lies their dead child.
As time goes on we start to have vissions of how they died and the happy life these familys had but the killer was always hidden. Some of the pictures are from along time ago and then some are from a couple years ago (in this dream).
We then stummble across these pictures about some people we know, but we also know aren't dead....yet.
As the dream starts to unwind I can feel my body growing tense, my teeth clenched, my heart starts to beat faster and faster, I feel like I have been grabbed... I jump up out of bed just to see it was a dream, but I couldn't shake the erie feeling.
I go to the hall and turn on the light to take away a bit of darkness... the light doesn't turn on.
I decied to go to the bathroom, some times having to pee can be a great factor in bad dreams, ( why?) as I finish in the bathroom and head out.... the hall light turns on.... What is going on!!!!! the Wind is making itself knowen, the lights in the house don't like me, and even thought the house is full of sleeping people, I feel all alone.
I try never to watch anything I might find scarry so that it doesn't go into my dreams, I even stop watching CSI ( I loved CSI). So it couldn't be from what I had watched last night.

I get a call from my friend I go to the gym with to tell me she's not going to the gym today, she wants to sleep longer for she had a bad dream and woke up crying, I asked her a while ago what she does when she has a bad dream living on her own, She told me she doesn't get them. So weird to hear she had one last night also, for hardly ever getting them.

2006-10-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

Loco

For those of you who think me to be some what smart, do not read on...

Tonight some friends of mine were teasing me about my ablity to flirt or lack there of. They told me I have three style's of flirting.

1) A cute guys looks over at me and I will either

a) frown
b) look away and act not interested
c) stare back with a blank look on my face
d) and once in a blue moon ( if he is close enough) say "HI!" in an overly friendly voice

2) I will be overly friendly and flirty

a) put my foot in my mouth
b) not stop talking

and number...
3) If the guy shows any interest.. I stop the conversation before he can get to the asking me out part.

Now I serve three different hot men whom I have come to know as ... Mr. Ice tea (for he always drinks ice tea) , Mr. Z ( from New Zealand... I can't spell) and Hot Curtis from ford ( I only know his name because he gave it to me the first time we met.
I guess I have four problems this being my main one. Now I can talk to all these guys ( I think ok and people would say otherwise) but my big problem is I don't ask the everyday questions most girls would ask.
I can ask them where they work, what sports they like, where they moved from, why they came to Cold Lake... but things like whats your name, how old are you? ( ones they ask me however, I don't ask in return)

Mr. Ice tea -I have served for nine months and each time he gets me to be his waitress, ( he even tiped me once when I wasn't even serving him!) He came in alone for the longest time and then he started to bring in a friend with him after four months ( mr. pepsi), it took his friend to introduce themselvesto me, for he said it was time I knew their real names and not just to go by drinks ( of couse I had told them what I had nicknamed them hoping they would tell me... it took a month) he goes on to tell me it was Mr. Ice tea's birthday the next day... you would think I would ask him ..."How old are you turning?".. but not this girl, I say " Well I hope you have a great day and you don't have to work". They tell me another time that they went looking for me in the bar one night, "Oh, I don't go to the bar.. maybe thats why you couldn't find me", " but you work in one", "Well then you went to the wrong place". What is wrong with me!!! Mr. Pepsi even tells me when Mr. Ice Tea is out of town without me asking.

Curtis from ford: ( I have talk to off and on since July, when he comes in for pick up) I go to get my car fix ( at ford of course) and he comes over to talk to me, then has to go after ten min. to finish a deal with this older man. A little later he came looking for me and asks if we can talk, I say " yes" and after only a minute after he asks my age (I tell him) and right away my car comes up, I say " Oh there's my car, got to go " and walk away, even though I had nothing to do that day.(?)

Mr.Z- I walking past him and he is on the phone.. smiles at me and whispers "hi" I say hi and walk on, a little bit later I am taking water to fill up a tables drinks and as I walk by again he asks to have a top up. ( he had less then an inch of water out of his glass) He starts to talk to me, and somehow we get on the conversation of travel and where I have been and he has been. Then he asks how old I am and says I must be ready to find a man and settle down. His food comes and I say I should let him eat and walk away. ( I was told later on, I should have said yes as if he was asking me to marry him, or ask if it was an offer, when he said I must be ready to settle down. That would have been funny or cute... but not this girl)

Drama, Drama, Drama!!

there you go mrs. glubish

2006-09-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Mystery Man

As I look around the gym this morning I spot this man ( not because he was good looking) he is wearing a pair of tight grey sweat pants , a tanktop , and holding a briefcase.
I couldn't take my eyes of of him.... as he is lifting weights he has the briefcase inbetween his legs, on the treadmill he has the case beside him ...this woman comes to use the machine beside him and he moves it to the other side, another person come to the other treadmill and he gets off right away.
I was hoping that he would open the case and pull out something stupid.. like a jump rope but sadly it never happend. It just made me feel like I was in a movie and this case held all the secrets of the Canadian Airforce. I made up in my mind that the two other big strong men there were his bodyguards, for this man wasn't very big.
If only I could have found out what was in that case!!!

2006-09-24T01:11:00.000-07:00

Nothing to say

I have had so much going on in my life right now but by time it comes around to blogging, its all old news and not so exciting anymore, or I am just not able to share and have to hold back.
This was the whole point of a blog for me, to get my thoughts down but then again I guess one has to be careful what they put on the net. I promise a great new blog soon....TTFN.

2006-09-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

IN FOR LIFE

So yesterday I was sent to go see the owner and tell her what shifts I wanted to work, She has been hiring a lot of new workers and so I have been getting shafted as the fill in girl. I was told by the managers to go stand up for myself and tell her what I wanted. She wasn't in a good mood so I was going to leave the matter alone, the manager took me by the hand and into the office told her I had something to say and walked away.
I was so scared!!!!
Well, as soon as I opened my mouth she jumped at me, saying she heard I wanted to quite.... That I have changed and not for the better, I don't need to stand up for myself... She has been a great boss to me and has bent over backward to give me all the things I ask for ( I never ask her for a thing other then a week off when I was really sick in May).
People keep leaving and demanding things all the time she doesn't need to hear for me....
" Joy you have really changed, and I don't like who you are becoming, you never needed to come to me in the almost two years that you worked here. I will give you what you asked for only because I'm being kind and I hope not to hear from you again!"
I was ready to walk out that door and not look back, HOW DARE SHE!!!!
I have come in sick, with a bum wrist, when my friend passed, days off to fill in at last min. with only a ten min. notice, I haven't had any time off in over ten months other then the days given me and I only had a week off because I was deathly sick.
I quite and she asked me what it would take for me to stay, I told her four days a week and working in the bar, because I make more money over there ( In all the time I worked there I never have had a raise other then when the pay all over Canada went up, and even then she gave it two weeks before saying it was because she valued us. ) Never a christmas party other than for her managers and they all got gifts.
So now I am back to six days a week and she putting me all over the place. I went in to ask her to go back to the trims we agreed upon when I agreed to stay and that is when she jumped all over me.
In the last two weeks I have went to talk to her twice and she thinks I am becoming a bad pushy person.... because I was always to afraid before.
Now I afraid to ever leave... I hate people being mad at me, I know this is only a job and that once I'm out it will no longer bother me but AAAAHHHA!

Sorry... but I just need to vent.

2006-08-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

Cake on the floor

Well tonight I thought it was time to write a little something.
Today was my wonderful mothers 64th birthday and we needed to go and buy her a cake. I get a black forest cake put it in the cart, then go help David to pick out some flowers for our mum. We bump into some people we know and I work with, then a bit later I bash into more people I know... Now the store is full of people.......... so you know what is going to happen.
I go into line, pick up the cake ( by the top) and it drops from my fingers, trying to catch the cake as it falls to the ground my attempt becomes failure.. I'm covered in cake... the floor is covered in cake... my friends and co-workers are laughing.... strangers are smirking.
I can never seem to do a small act without gaining a crowed.
In the end I didn't have to pay for the cake and we got another one for our mother to enjoy.

2006-08-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

Your Famous Movie Kiss is from Gone With The Wind

"Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar."

What'>http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatfamousmoviekissareyouquiz/">What Famous Movie Kiss Are You?

2006-08-21T16:30:00.000-07:00

New Blog

2006-08-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

When Life hands you lemons... The lemonade sure can make you bitter

I'm having a feel sorry for myself day, I just can't seem to cut a break.
I go to a store to make a print of one of my paintings for a friend and the printers broken... I get my new cell phone in the mail and I can't hook it up...
I get asked to go boating, I show up at the meeting place , look around, sit down wait an hour. Met this old man I know.. use his cell to find that they were looking for me ( how hard I want to know) Where am I I'm asked and they will come find me... wait another half an hour, call again to find they had been out on the lake this whole time not looking for me.
I just hate these kinds of days!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

Old ladies and their hair of blue (what are they trying to prove)

Last sunday ( I was late for church again and hid myself in the back pew) I sat behind this older lady and to my joy and wonderment she had dyed her hair this light shade of blue. Women who do this have always brought wonder to me... why in the world pick that color? did someone play a mean trick and change their shampoo? Do they get hit on more in the old folks home for being young and playful?
Anyhow... My brother Dan was preaching so before he goes up I making comments on everything ( Bad I know and distracting to grace and this wonderful lady of blue). He gets up and starts talking about the temple and what they used to make the temple.
How they had this very poor knotted piece of wood but they covered the wood with a white sheet, copper at the base and sliver for the top. He talked about how we are all like the knotted wood but God covers us, so to the world we look white and pure from head to toe.
Then he went to give the example that we look to preachers and elders as pure and wonderful as the world looks to us but we can only see our knotts, but the elders and pastors are also only twisted and knotted. This was the part were out of my mouth comes a big HA! and I start to laugh.
Lady blue hair turns around to give me the dirtiest look, do you think I would then stop .... no I just laugh harder.
I just thought of the elders that look upon themselves and they see they are only saved sinners but I thought of how many were thinking how they might look to the people ( the truth is out). They have a rep. to uphold ( or so some think) Bad timing on my part but once I started I couldn't stop and the look from lady blue.....priceless.

2006-07-30T14:58:00.000-07:00

My Birthday ( I know this blog was a long time coming)

The pictures may be scattered, sorry about that. It was a great day and a good time with friends, at the casino I won 68 dollars and kelly 30 dollars.
My car fell apart on the trip, that is why Nikki and I are at a car parts place. ( I just had it fix and it cost 230 dollars)
The other pictures are just some of the landmarks that make for a great picture opp. for a trip to the city.
Enjoy.

2006-07-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

Tupelo Honey

Tonight at work this group of guys walk into the bar all punk and wearing VIP passes, I thought they must be groupies for this band called Default that came to Cold Lake.
I had been teased all day for not knowing who Default was and then I think I get their crew people. So trying to be all non-chalante, I ask what they where doing here in Cold lake since they look like they come from the city. They tell me they are playing down at the Agraplex, ( being dumb) I answer "what with toys?" ( ha).
" No, we are a band called Tupelo Honey and are opening for Default", " Sorry I've never heard of you" I reply. " Thats ok.. we're from Edmonton, so really we're nobody", " So I can tell people I served nobody tonight"," ya(ha), something like that" .
I'm so dumb... now that I'm recaping this I would think I was a slow person if I was them. Good thing they thought my dumbness was funny and tiped me well. They said it was nice to met a girl who could joke with them.
After they left I kept having coustomers all excited asking who they were, I replied with something Honey. Then they said the name all happy and excited they ate next to this band and could tell people.
I still didn't know the names of either band.. I had to look it up in the news paper just so I could type this.
It's neat to look in the news paper and see their faces as if they really matter... But if they weren't in a band I don't think they could get many dates.. (one however was cute)

2006-07-13T21:07:00.000-07:00

Drama Queen

I keep having people lately come up to me and tell me that they read my blog ( not that they comment.... wimper, sigh!)
I was talking to my friend nikki and asked why anyone would want to read about my life. ( with all the bad spelling and grammer... why work that hard to read something)
She replied it was because I made every story sound like the end of the world... each bit of my life as it was the only thing I had going for me... Drama....Drama.. Drama.
I may be a drama queen nikki or just a great story teller, I leave that up to you....

2006-07-10T23:31:00.000-07:00

Birthdays

My birthday is just six days away and for years I would make a big deal over them, I would tell people about my birthday months in advance. (I did get teased about it, but I never cared)
It was my day! A day all about me and for that day people would try and make me happy... they would want me around, it was a day of gifts and a day out of the year like no other.
Each year I could feel my birthday ( I don't know how to word this.... but each year this joy for this day over took me) and then the day would come, excitement filled the air.
You open your eyes and know this was your day!
My brothers would be all happy just wanting to see the mystery gifts that lay in each bag and want to see the joy in my face when I opened their gift and they knew I was happy with the gift they had found and in return it made them happy. ( I still feel that way when I give a gift and the person is happy with it.. I feel pride that they liked the gift, and happy I spent my time looking for just the right thing )

Well, I have had some great birthdays, and have had people go out of their way, big time for me.... But this year I'm a little sad, not that I'm getting older ( I always wanted to be older.. don't try to understand you never will).
Just that as the years pass the joy of it goes away. Why? Why does it hold so much as a child and then it becomes just another day as you age? Its like all things.. you no longer can play with toys for long with out getting tired of them.... You no longer have the same veiws of you parents ( they become people to you, not just mom and dad these two superheros who can do anything ).... You find the dream jobs you played and wished for to be .... work.
No wonder Jesus said to have faith like a Child. They can take a small toy and see a world to play with... they never worry about food or clothing for they have mom and dad ( they have faith in their parents, faith with no questions about food or shelter... maybe just about toys and things they want. But the daily bread is there)
This birthday would be the first I don't care about... I don't want gifts I have no place to put them and what I want I can just buy myself...And this is the sad thing, I find the older I get the less I need others.
God made us to be together and enjoy the earth, other people... to tell about Him .
Yes, a birthday is just another day but it's also what we make of it.
If I could have one thing this birthday, it would be to see the world as I once did... my parents as I once did..... and have faith as I once did.

2006-07-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

The Nude Grace ( I mean new)

This is her scar

This is also her scar

2006-07-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

Hospital

Last night grace was in a lot of pain, so at around 8pm me and my mum took her to the hospital. Th Doctor not being sure what the pain was from took a pee samples and then sent her home at around ten, as soon as we got home however her pains became worse and so we took her back. They then took her in over night and took some blood samples ( she said today that she was in so much pain that she didn't even feel them taking blood). I have been back and forth all day and was lucky to be there when the doctor came ( one thing to know about grace is when she is in pain, she doesn't let on that she's hurting and she will laugh over the pain)
So the doctor came and started to press on her stomach asking her if it was causing any discomfort, I was on the other side having a nice chat with her roommate and listening to what they were saying ( she was not being to honest about it and kept laughing when he pushed, so I knew she was hurting but he didn't) then he came back a little later and asked her if she could be with child ( here is were I insert foot) "no, she's a vergin" I loudly say, he looks at me and asks " who are you?" feeling just a little dumb...... I say that I'm her sister ( I keep forgetting I have blonde hair and that with different hair we don't look alike)
Then he asked her if she had anything to drink today, for you can't have food or drink for 24 hours before operating, I jump in again with " only vodka" . ( later we kept joking how I made her out to be a drunk vergin mary, sounds now like a drink. Who knows what the woman sharing the room thought of our talking).
Then the doctor asked if she would like her apendix( hope I spelt that right) out tonight or tomorrow, she asked for tomorrow after an ultra sound. She doesn't want them to take it out if thats not the real promble. So just pray for her and that she can start to feel better.

2006-06-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

Hurt people, Hurt People.

I had this very wise teacher at capernwray, Who kept trying to get this startment into our heads, " Hurt people, hurt people".
I find this so true, lately when I'm hurting, I hurt the ones I love for the pure fact, that if I'm hurting so should they ( and then some times I hurt them without even knowing it, or myself).
Why? What is it about me that makes me become this monster? Why can I just go get drunk like the rest of the world and forget my troubles for just one night?
Last night I was hurting over something I had brought upon myself ( not that I had control over the situation, but the extream pain I felt was because I had once again played up this matter in my head, even though it never happend or ever would)
I was up until 5 am crying and then had to go to work, smiling as if my world was fine. ( and the fact that I was hurting so much, made the rest of my family hurt, I'm to much of an open book)
For that I am sorry... but how do I stop? How can a person gain control over their feelings, so they don't have to hurt over things that God never ment to be?
I think if I could be a super hero, It would be to have the power to control my emotions, my thoughts, actions... and even not to feel.
Hurt people, hurt people, but how do you stop?

2006-06-27T14:08:00.000-07:00

This one is for John and Dave

Not long ago I posted some lovely pictures of my brothers, well they weren't to happy and took these photo's to get back at me. Wanting to beat them to the punch, I thought I would do the damage to myself. I had just washed my hair and am wearing no make-up.. Enjoy.

2006-06-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

Centipede

Last night I ended up watching "Around the world in 80 days" , I started the movie at 9pm and the dumb thing didn't end until 2am. ( why didn't I turn it off.... I'm dumb too)
So at about 1:30am I see this black thing moving on the floor really fast, I look again and there is this long black centipede. Now in Mexico I bought this bag of cooked flavored centipedes and they tasted great! but recently I have come to really hate! bugs. I can't even kill them for fear of getting close. I wake my dad to kill this creature for me and he flushes it down the toilet ( do you think I can use the bathroom without fear now?.... no)
Then at around 2:30am I try going to sleep, all I can think about is.. What if there is more? Could one be in my bed right now? If I fall asleep it could go in my mouth or ears, nose... any open part, and what if I wake up with it there? I could care less if I didn't wake-up to it, but scared for life if I did. I think I fell asleep for about an hour at three, I awoke from a dream that spider's were coming from my flesh. I had eaten a cup cake that had a pregnant spider and it had laid eggs in my stomach.. somehow ending with big marks on my flesh that the babies came from.
So I opted to get some ear plugs... so once again I had to wake my dad who I know has some.
So it's now four in the morning ( I'm bugging out, ha), there is a house having an all night party music blaring. My mother wakes and then all of a sudden we hear a cop car coming down the street, then a little fire truck... music dies... and then boom! You can see smoke coming from behind a house across the street, I run to put my jeans on to watch the sight out side ( not thinking I could look guilty) Dave and John now are up... What a night! It's now 4:30am and my sister wantes me to drive around the block to see if we can get a better look.... round and around we go. It ends up someone put the neighbours van on fire,.
I fall to sleep at around five, just to get up for Church... Maybe it was a blessing about the car... only because it got my brain from thinking about the centipede, so I could sleep.

The moral of this story is I'm a spaz and I hate bugs. Never show me or talk to me about bugs.... I will put you on my hate list.
Even typing this has made me have the creepy crawlies!!

2006-06-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

Manager?

Today I went into work and right off the bat the owner comes up to me ( well taking to other people ) and asks me to be a manger. She wants to get me started right away, for another manager is going on vacation and they need me to replace him. Then she tell me we'll talk later and walks away with the people she was talking to.

Two weeks ago I'm trying to quit and now she is wanting to make me manager... What do I do? I won't be serving tables, so there goes my tips. I will have to gain the respect of my co-worker.. and have them come to me with all there silly problems. I would be the one getting all the mad customers.... late hours, early mornings... deal with all the money matters... people who come in late or just don't show up. Find people to cover shifts.. ect..
I know I can do it and I think it would only be for a short time, but then is it even worth it?
Why me and why now?
I just want to make the right move and do Gods will but then every time I try to change or get out... Boston Pizza just keeps sucking me back... so then is this God's will for my life and how do I know? What should I do?... I wish I had that easy button, like in the ads.

2006-06-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

Big Tease

Last night I was serving three flaggers. I wasn't overly nice, you could almost say I was a bad waitress to them. Anyhow at the end, one gave me 9 dollars, another 10 dollars and the last one five dollars and wrote down his name and phone number at the bottom. I show this to my friend Eugene and two other guys I know, he at first laughed and said to call the number. Anyhow.. then one of them has the nerve to call me a tease! He told me that women have men in their hands and all we have to do is give the right smile and a guy will do anything for us. Not true! I told him and he said you're right only pretty girls have that and I should be nicer to the male gender that walks through the doors, it's not fair to them or the other waitress staff.

I don't know what has been going on lately? I go from never being asked out, to getting hit on every day at work, being told I'm a tease and I carry the hearts of men in my hands. It's just weird, after being asked out once, then it all began... I almost wish I knew how to shut it off. I hope after maple flag I can go back to nothing, I'm tried of this.

2006-06-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

Your Eyes Should Be Green

Your eyes reflect: Striking attractiveness and danger

What's hidden behind your eyes: A vivid inner world

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

2006-06-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

Enough said....

2006-06-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

In and Out Of Love

I woke up this morning looking out the window with dread of getting up for church, I don't know if many or any of you know what this feels like.
Some weeks I just hate church, the talking with people you have nothing in common with, sitting in a service you just wish and pray would end so you can make your escape, and when it is over trying to run for the door not looking anyone in the eye. This was how my day started, today they preached on elders and how an elder should live and how his family should live. ( In my my view only, so don't get mad) I don't think any of the elders are living to these standards, yet the church has put them in these positions. If they don't match the standards placed by the Bible, then we the church are placing them under power they should never have and then we also doing wrong. It would be better to have no elders. I have never become a church member for the fact that I am already in the family of God but I don't believe in the things the church I am attending bases their views upon ( by not being a member you can't vote on who the elder will be). I go to this church however, one, for I have gone there my whole life and two I agree more with their views than any other church here.

Some days I think it would be better not to go at all, but house rules .

Why if I believe in the Bible and God, is it so hard for me to love these people and not feel unloved and unwelcome in the church crowd. Why do I find the non-believers more welcoming, caring, and able to listen about God. I find when I talk to a Christian about faith and my own view points, they jump to bring you down a notch faster then say a non-believer. At least they let you finish, I'm sure many of your minds are working right now on what you would say to all of this.. but it's true. I'm sorry if this has hurt anyone, but I am so tired of caring who I'm going to hurt with anything I say, and tired of hearing people jump at me and think I have said something stupid before hearing where I'm going with a sentence.
When it comes to church it's both love and hate, for I do love the people but I hate how they can make you feel. I know we are all sinners but when you get more love and feel more useful to the world, it's hard to choose which to be a part of. I know I need to look and the eternal and not the now but that's hard to do.

Note: I should just go back to bed and have this day over with.

2006-05-30T19:40:00.000-07:00

If I can't quit I can't be fired

So yesterday I finally handed in my notice, ( I need to add I do make one fine two weeks notice letter) I have work at Boston Pizza, Cold lake for a year and a half. I have always tried to be half an hour early and come in on days off if ever they need me, stay late, ect..
Well I finally was tired of being everyones chew toy " Joy can do it,what else will she do? she doesn't go to the bar", after a bad panic attack on friday night I realized my life was based on my job and not my job a part of my life.
My friends had stopped calling, for they were tired of getting " sorry joys at work." My family goes on last minute trips that I can never join, for I need to give two weeks notice if needing days off. ( I know most jobs are like that) Working hoildays when everyone was up, compensating by staying up late and then waking up well they are all still in bed.

So Monday morning I handed in my notice, only to have the owner come out a moment later asking me to join her in the office. " Why do you want to leave? Do you have another job? Are you just trying for more money? You can't leave, you are one of my best! I never have a bad word said about you, everyone loves you! I hear only good things about you from customer and worker alike, so why do you want to go?"
So I just laid it out for her, I don't care about money ( I have never tried to make money my life, as long as I can live one day to the next) I'm just tired. Six days a week of serving with maple flag on was getting to be to much, having moody managers that favor one server over another ( who there are friends with ). Knowing I'll do the drity work so they pick on me over the others, sexual harassment ( from workers and customers), ect..
In the end she talked me into staying on, four days a week ( I should have not said I didn't care about the money, my mom told me and she most likely would have given me a raise, and I know she would have...BUT I DON'T CARE!) I can pick the days I want to work each monday... lets see how long that lasts. I might be back to sixs days in no time, why can't I just say no!!!
I did realize today no matter what I do she wouldn't fire me, but everyone knows I'm a Christian so I shouldn't try.

I better get on Jimmy kimmel soon.

2006-05-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Tonight I was talking with Janet about life and the goals we make for life. I told her my only life goal at this moment was to be on the Jimmy Kimmel show. Why he would have me on his show or what I could bring to the show is vague, but I will know when the time is right.
Otherwise I will just have to go with my life goal of being a gypsie, going from one country to the next, working only when I need money and living life to the fullest. ( I think the church calls gypsie, missionaries. But I won't be working for the church)
There we go that could be my job for kimmel, I could be his traveling gypsie!
He could pay for my flights and where I stay and in return... I do something out there and stupid to bring in the ratings ( not that he needs help with ratings.... but this is my dream).

There you go Janet, nothing great but I didn't know how to put my dreams into writing.

2006-05-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

Defeated

I open my eyes and all around the sky is dark and grey,
my coffees cold, my hair just droops and then I start my day.
I was asked out to lunch, then they made other plans.
I eat alone, I work again, the hours slowly pass .
I close my eyes and all around the sky is dark and grey.
Defeated was my attitude and so defeated was my day.

2006-05-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

How to lose a date in three days

1) Say yes to date number two ( he was not a flagger), he will get hernia and have to go back home. ( From the yes to the time he left, three days)

2) Number three will be a great guy ( until you find he is married, then you just laugh off the asking as if it were a joke . He also was not a flagger but also not from here ) However we did have a great talk about faith,God, family, trust and so on... maybe that is why I met him.

3) Date number one, just never worked out yet. ( He still says it will happen and I just don't care)

I could almost write a book if this keeps up... What is going on lately?

Note: still haven't dated and I don't care if I do or not anymore

2006-05-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

Here is the before and afters, dark hair before and the bad blonde job after. You can't see that well by the pictures, but it's really blochy. I did fix it but now it's red and I not the best.

2006-05-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

Regret

Today I did something stupid.... I dyed my hair blonde. Grace and I started the project at 2:30pm and just now finished at 10pm. We took two go's, the first trying to highlight my hair ( turned out so badly... I cryed) and the second time did the whole head.
Not bad but on sunday I will dye it again, as of now I am strawberry blonde with bright blonde highlights. Why is it, when my hair is good I just have to play with it hoping for something that's Wow! and instead get something small town. I always try to play with God's handy work and make such a mess of it in the end.
I can't say I won't try going blonde again, unless I know what's good for me.

2006-05-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

Cinderella Story

I said it before and I'll say it again, I change like a fiddle changes it's tune.
I thank you all for your comments on the last blog, it shows people care and only want what is best for me.
When Jon asked me out, for a day or two I was living in a fairy tale. A good looking guy was wanting to take me out! How could I not be over joyed? I am 23 this year and never dated , never asked out and then Jon comes along and makes me feel pretty and wants to be nice and take me on a date. So I wrote Janet and then I had to redeem myself, for people who read Janets blog by writting my own and then it just seemed to make this run from there.

Note; if this isn't making sense I'm sorry.

He just wants to take me out... I guess, as... an act of kindness ( I have heard other things as to why he wants to take me out. But I don't believe they are true)
What I guess I'm saying is that, like Cinderella, my time has hit 12 and my horses are turning back into mice and my ride into a punkin. But like Cinderella it was a nice time to have. None of you have to worry, that I was going to hurt his feelings........ I wouldn't have.
We still have this so called "date" to go on... but we would never be "dating" to set this whole matter stright ( sorry if I have miss lead, we both don't want to be dating and working together).
I just got stuck in a moment, I now I have to get out of it.

2006-05-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

It's Out

I left a comment on Janets blog the other day not thinking ( yes, I sould have e-mailed).
So here it is.... I was asked out last night by this new guy I work with. He is 25, french ( not t0o sure about that) works on base and started at Boston Pizza for a little more cash. The biggest flirt I have ever met! So last night after work I was having dinner with another girl and jon asked me what my last boyfriend was like. My friend pipes up and tells him " Joy has never dated", He starts to laugh " A beautiful woman like Joy never dated, I don't believe you" So he goes around asking the other people at work and they all said the same thing . So Jon says " If that is the case, I want to have the honor and be her first date".
And that is the story..

Note : he is devorced and not a Christian ( but then what is one date, he said he would pay for everything)

2006-04-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

Miss Steaks

I have a family friend who knows my writting even on other blogs due to the bad spelling, not that he ever makes fun of me for it, but it is a part of my life that has bothered me for years. For this I guess my pride takes a hit each time someone comments.
Mostly why I am writting this is due to the fact, that on my sisters site I wanted to teach her not to leave her blog open and wrote some very dumb blogs called toe jam. Not to be funny ( maybe a small part of me thought it was a little funny) but just for her to know I could get on and write whatever I wanted.
Well I guess this came up yesterday when my brothers had coffee with Chris, some did think that grace wrote these stupid blogs. They were however set stright, only for the fact, my spelling and grammer are so well known.

note: The title is ment to be spelt wrong

2006-04-25T14:32:00.000-07:00

"Great" Love

For the last couple of days I have been quite sick, so not leaving my room has given me much time to think, watch t.v., read, ect..
All of the above has had romance as the theme ( not that all of them were very romantic). Finding love, losing love, and giving love was a main part to each. Love is the key of life. ( God is love!)
We all search to find this " great" love of our life, thinking that it is this wonderful, nice handsom man or beautiful woman and when we finally find them... in the end we find out that they are only human.
Where the love of their life this " great" love, can only come from God.
I guess to me romance ( love of another in the worlds terms) is more of a fairy tale, something you read about, write about, watch on t.v, or in a movie, but what we all see, is how we all want our lives to turn out to be or have.
But in reality we don't have the true " happy ever after" story, it is not something we can ever have here on earth. To find our true happiness in another human is asking for trouble, you may have good times together, good friendships, but to place all our happiness on another human life is asking for a lot of downs.

For most (not all) of my life I have dreamed of marriage, kids, and thinking that once I had those things everything eles would follow and my life would be perfect, "great". I would then have it all and my life and why I am here would be complete. How wrong my thinking was.
Yes, I would still like to have the husband and kids, but the after fact hit me that I would still be looking for more , new things, something eles to make me happy.
For I would be putting all my lifes happiness on that earthly human, I would call husband and I would try so hard to make him happy and to love me, that in the end it wouldn't work.
God doesn't love me just because I look or act a particular way, or have some great talent. He loves me for me. He loves you for you.
No job, no amount of money ( it's all His anyway) no big house, or being good looking, funny or both is going to make Him love us any more or any less. So why should we look for these things in the others that we love. Love to me is not just a feeling, (feelings can go away) it's a choice. In richer and poorer, sickness and in health... to love.
He likes me just the way I am, and I have to learn that so will my friends, so will my husband ( if I am to marry)... otherwise he is not worth having, and like wise should I be toward them.
I end with: Love is not a feeling it's a choice.

2006-04-20T11:18:00.000-07:00

Wife number two

Last night I had these three Arab guys come in, you would think they were drunk but in their religion they aren't to drink or to eat anything pig.
From the get go these men were flirting up a storm ( I never know if a guy is hitting on me but these guys were right out in the open) I counted the amount of times that they called me sweetheart, 46 times ( I only knew because I started to mark them off on my note pad each time).
One guy is asking me if I'm singel and would I like not to be, while with a wet nap was cleaning behind his ears and cleaning his nose. ( the guy hasn't even eatten yet)
"Yes I'm singel and no I'm not looking for a man right now" - Joy
"Sweetheart do you have a pen? for I would really like to get your number" - Arab #1
" How do you know the number I give you won't be wrong? (like the cops or a cab or movie store? - my thoughts would have been fun to say)" -Joy
" Don't worry sweetheart, he's a married man" -Arab #2
"I can have more then one!" Arab #1 to Arab #2 " so sweetheart tell me your number". *Wink*
Now the place has only me, these three men and an old woman who comes in everynight to play the slots. ( I was so happy the old woman was there)
But having only them there made the last hour my night very long.
As they came up to pay I was asked how about it? would I like to be his other wife?
"Sorry I will have to pass"
I told my brother dan this story when I came home, " Joy, you will never get married with that attitude." Dan said with his funny smile ( only he has) on his face.

2006-04-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

Friday Night & On My Own

I sit on my couch playing with my sisters new laptop, ponytail, jeans, hoodie, slippers and the best part is I'm sitting on a Sobeys flyer. Brother at a movie, sister out with her friend, friends with their families or out at the bar. So I sit here typing comment after comment on Janets blog. 23 years old in the prime of live and nothing to do. I could have gone out, my friend Julie wants to set me up with this 35 year old guy she knows : I got to thinking about the pro's and con's of this guy. So out of sheer boredom I'll share them with you.

Pro's:
1) A date
2) Free dinner or something
3) A new story to tell ( could turn out to be funny)

Con's:
1) Not a Christian
2) Not my type
3) Older then my eldest sibling
4) I don't like the funny looks he gives me
5) facail hair
6) Red Head
7) I know nothing about him, I think I would have to know the guy to go on a date. You can never really trust any guy enough to be alone with them these days.

So what would you do in my case?

2006-04-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

What have I gotten myself into?

The other day (once again at work) I was asked to become the bar tender. Now I'm a person who has trouble saying no, they said I would get better pay and all I really have to do is make drinks. Easy, right?.....
I said yes, for this reason. First the bar tender they have is leaving and the one who was to take over has been in hospital for the last month and is to be in for another month. They asked me to try it out, but then I got to thinking...

1) I lose all my nights, my shifts will now be 5pm to 12am or 1am.

2) After 9pm I start to take tables because my waitresses go home.

3) Malpe Flag is starting, making the place busy.

4) I felt ok saying yes at first, but what about my family? I forgot how it looks to others, being in a good Christian family and me working in a bar. And I don't feel now like this is something God would really want me to do.

5) How do I now say no?

6) They asked me to try it out only for a month, but I know I'm just going to get stuck over there.

It's funny how in just a matter of moments you change your life, for better of worse. How people see you changes and you are placed with a new marking. What you think you are doing only to help someone out, can make you something you don't want to be or become.
As a little girl if I was told this is the job I would have when I grow up, I most likely would have gotten mad and said "No! I'm going to be a missionary or a mother".
What have I gotten myself into?

2006-04-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

New Blog

I thought it was about time I write a new blog, here it is.
Hope you have enjoyed it.

2006-03-19T23:27:00.000-08:00

It Shall not be Forgiven

Lately I have been reading George Macdonald's book ' Unspoken Sermons' and I find his veiws to draw light to passages I have read over and over but never thought about.
The last sermon was called ' It shall not be forgiven' this one I have to say, taught me what I have a hard time doing...... forgiving.
I can hold on to things that have hurt me for years, and the more I think about it, the more the problem can hurt me over and over again. I never thought it was something I could change or that I even wanted to change, but it has been something I have been told I have to do.. forgive.

These are just parts of his sermon that hit me:

start with -Luke 12:10

- Christ is God's Forgiveness.

- If God forgave a man who was unforgiving and hated his brother, How would the man interpret it? Would it not mean to him, " You may go on hating. I do not mind it. You have had great provocation, and are justified in your hate"? Man would think, Not that God loved the sinner, but that He forgave the sin, which God never does. Every sin meets with its due fate- inexorable expulsion from the paradise of God's Humanity. He loves the sinner so much that He cannot forgive him in any other way than by banishing from his bosom the demon that possesses him, by lifting him out of the mire of his iniquity.

-Forgiveness, is not love merely, but love conveyed as love to the erring, so establishing peace towards God, and forgiveness towards our neighbour.

-Without the Spirit to witness with his spirit, no man could know himself forgiven, even if God appeared to him and said so. The full forgiveness is, when a man feels that God is forgiving him; and this cannot be while he oposes himself to the very essence of God's will.

*- When a man gives up self, his past sins will no longer oppress him.

note: these are just some of the quotes I like from this book, and this was just one sermon, but one I need to get into my thick head.

2006-03-14T22:52:00.000-08:00

Never could be a therapist

Tonight I had a call to go for coffee ( at work that is ) with some of the girls getting off shift. There is this one person I work with, that was so down ( I could never be a therapist, I hurt when they tell me things they are having to go through).
So I get her talking, I don't even know where to begin typing.... Some months ago now she was charged with assault, she and her boyfriend ( I also worked with at one point) had gotten into a fight at the bar (both had been drinking). She had gotten too out of hand and smashed a beer bottle into his face.
From his side of the story, I took it that she was this bad, crazy mean girl, but lately I'm not so sure.
Anyhow the cops were the ones to charge her and she is now facing two years in jail.
Now here is the part that gets me all mad, he calls her at all hours of the night ( but the cops said she can't talk to him) he says one thing ( to me or others, I try not to talk with him) and then I hear lies and stories he tells to her of what we said, trying to hurt her or make her mad at us, and I don't hear from her what he has lied about, but from other people I work with ( All of this by they way I have never tried to be a part of... other then asking her how she was tonight).
He even came in tonight and joined us, because he called ahead to see if she was working. AAHHHH! ( frustrated)
Now in my head, if someone put a beer bottle in my face I would walk a mile to get away from them, not call to find out if they were off work, so I can hang out.
She told me she would end it all tonight if she could, just to stop the on going nightmares, I see her at work so tired some days, from trials.. his calls...ect.
What could I say to that... I just told her I love her and it would hurt to no end if I knew she was going to do such a thing and I had no way to help her. I told her it would end here but then what?
I went on to talk about God's love and sins being washed away , because she had said with all she's done, she's going to hell if she took her life or not, because she couldn't now be forgiven for her past. ( I didn't say all of what I said to her in these words, it sounds kinda cheesy the way I'm typing)
I'm not saying in anyway what she did was right.... But with him I might have done the same thing.. I don't know what went on to lead into the whole mess. But who I'm I to judge either of them, I just know she's hurting and I can't get the fear from my mind of what she could do to herself.
I gave her my number and told her if she wanted to ever talk more, to give me a call and I would take her for coffee, we didn't have a long talk because others joined us, I just pray God will give me a chance to talk more about Him with her.
Why I'm typing this? because I need you to pray for her, that this so called lost sheep can find her way into her masters arms.
Please!.. Pray.. pray.. pray!
I am thankful I could talk some with her, and she made me see even my bad days are nothing to what others go through. To them my bad day are their good ones.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. -Romans 3:23

Note: Sorry I have no spell check

2006-03-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

Waters of life

I'm running on empty, I have no more to give

Pour Your waters of life over me.

Quench my thirst Lord,

Quench my longing.

Wash the dirt from my eyes so I can see.

Make me Yours, Lord, make me Yours, Lord.

Not my will, but Your will be done in me.

I'm not worthy, but I'm asking,

Make me Yours and use me, Lord, to do Your will.

Like the woman at the well, You came to my side,

And asked me to turn from sin and shame,

Lord fill up my cup, so I will thirst no more,

Then I will go and tell of all You've done.

Make me Yours, Lord, make me Yours, Lord,

Not my will, but Your will be done in me.

Quench this thirst Lord,

Quench this longing,

Let Your waters of life flow over me.

2006-03-07T22:13:00.000-08:00

Lost in Translation

Where do I begin? Tonight at work I was talking with this nice Man ( about 60) named Harold.

For the last two years he has been living here in Cold Lake working. He lives at the Lake Land Inn, has nothing but a little room the company pays for. The people he works with are all much younger ( he's more like their boss), so he has no one to go out and have a good time with. Each night, sometimes lunch Harold comes in just to talk and have something warm to eat, his wive lives somewhere eles... Well this is what I'll be touching on.

Harold is just over all a great man!

Most nights after work I sit down and talk to Harold for a bit, we have talked about Religion, Government, jobs, family... and so on.

Tonight however, he was a little down and lonely, tired of his job and missing his wife. For all of their married life he has had jobs away from home, just to make the money they needed. His wife always had a chance to come with him on these jobs because they last for years at a time. He has asked her to move with him but she won't, he told me tonight this has hurt him for years and now he has just given up asking. "She can have the best of both worlds this way, married and single".

It just hurts me to think, all this man wants, is for the wife he is working to feed and take care of, to be with him well doing so. And she can't love him enough to say bye to her friends pack up and move every four or five years. Four years! Some women move up to five times or more in one year. Harolds a great guy and has been married about 25 or so years, missing his kids growing up and working jobs he didn't always like. Yes, he could quit to and be with her, yet he feels she would push him away.

Where is the commitment with people today? To death do us part? Or you move somewhere I don't want to go. Somewhere along the line in their marriage the communication got lost in the translation. So please pray for him..

2006-03-04T21:46:00.000-08:00

"What on earth is this girls problem" - Jon Madison (pro)
this is what someone had to say about this picture on my sisters flickr sight... honestly! You should see HIS pictures.
The end.
OP.S. I like spam in between my toes

2006-03-01T10:25:00.000-08:00

To Know His Will

I have been going from blog to blog this morning and in most, not all, there seems to be a theme. Questions, pain, wants, needs. We are all here on this earth to do the will of God and by reading his word we know what we should do... but like Paul says... that we don't do.
Well I'm in the same boat as most of you.. I wish I could say my problems out weigh others but I know that in this boat there are no higher decks.

With each job I have had in the last five years since coming home from Bible college, after a year at the job I feel a great need to get out, out of the job, out of town, out of the country.

Well I'm at this place again.... I know what the Bible says we should do and that is to proclaim God. But it doesn't tell me to go back college or even to have gone in the first place, what job to have, where to live, who to marry or even if I get that option.
So how do you find God's will for your life? Do you go off of a feeling? ( That has gotten me into trouble one time to many)

People have been telling me latley to get a new job... is this the will of God?
People have been telling me to move away, so I have better chance at meeting a nice guy.... is this the will of God?... I have went way before and met no good Christian men, other times I have left and met many, but all of which had girlfriends. What does moving away solve there? Other then being lonley if you don't know anyone.
I have had people tell me I just am needing time away and to take a trip somewhere for a month... is that the will of God? I may have a nice time away from everything but after all is said and done. I would need another job to get me back in the money I have now.

Then the question of money came to mind.... If God is my Father and gives me daily bread, then what do I need with hand fulls of cash? I have a car.. great, but did I really need it? I don't really care if I have money.... I like to have money so I can give it away to people I know who need it more, but I don't like my job in which I gain this income. So do I stay in a job I no longer like to help others? If I leave what then?
The Bible says to work and enjoy life.... how do you do this, when you feel lost and have no direction to follow.

To know the will of God.....

2006-02-27T18:25:00.000-08:00

Learning Brazilian

Tonight I had the night off and no big plans, I was sitting by our computer when I read this cover; " Instant Immersion into 18 languages".
Since I never know when I'll need 18 basic languages... I thought tonight was as good as any to start learning. So I started off with Portugese, I did well with the listening games but my speech needs work.
Everything came out a little Texan and a bad texan at that.... and so I decided to blog for now instead of continue in this painful persuit..... until my family has all gone to their beds and I can fumble my words without any persecution.
Today 18 languages, tomorrow back to square one. ( or try to take over the world )

2006-02-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

Haha Moment

Tonight at work, the bar tender was sick and had to go home and since I was the only one on that knew how to close the lot fell on me.
Well this is were my story begins... this group of people walk in (riggers) and there is this one black guy in the group that keeps looking at me funny. After a little while he comes up to the bar and asks for a drink of water, looks at my ring finger and asks me if I'm married or have a man at home ( because I ware a ring on that hand to detre the maple flaggers). I told him no and why I ware the ring, then this huge smile breaks across his face and says "So it's there for men like Me".
Well he goes on " I was talking to my friends about you and said you have the nicest butt I have ever seen and they told me I had to let a fine girl like you know that".
I didn't know what to say.... I was in pure shock.... no one has ever come up to me like that, so I say "Thank-you." What eles could I say to that?
Then he goes on...." I'm not just saying this to be nice, you have one nice a**".
I said thank-you again and then walked away to check on my other tables.
Well then just before walking out the door he comes over to me again " Next time I'm ever in Cold lake the only reason I'm going to come back to Boston Pizza is for you and that nice a**" , I say "Thanks again and have a nice night" and I walk away, I go tell this to the manager I'm working with and she starts to laugh. Then I think about it and say to her that it was however a backhanded compilment, " How's that?" she asks, " Well don't black guys like a woman with a big booty?". She just laughed at me some more.
I wish now I had something witty to say to him but alas I still can't think of anything.

2006-02-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

If I wasn't this..... I would be someone else.

I was talking with my sister the other night and told her that all my life I have felt like a fill in. ( Example: when an actor get sick in a play, they have a fill in, someone who has been learning the part on the side lines just in case the main actor couldn't go on)

Here is my life as I remember it..... from the time I hit my teen years I started taking on actions of my friends or people around me, trying to be like them ( for I saw them as people others wanted to be around and saw myself as a geeky little want to be) And so when those people were not around I was the one others would call on, hence ' the fill in'. I think I lost who I was in those years, when the acting started. I did it mainly for the fact that others like them because of those actions, so then they would like me for them too. ( Never worked out that way, but I keep trying)

Why am I writing this for others to read?.... As my brother would say I'm an "open book", but then why as an open book which people know how I feel at any moment so well, is it that to me the pages are blurry? How do they know the things I say at that moment define who I am or how I'll feel ten days from now. To me I just take on other people's personalities, I don't know who I really am, so how can anyone else?

If I was to die and all I ever was or am is a fill in...why fill in the gap? Why are people replaceable? Why at someones death do you shove that person's life into an hour of time? why do people have replacements? You may think you don't but we all do, we have the people first on are calling list and then others to reach if all else fails. But yet no one wants to be replaced themselves.

I know that I'm going on jumping from thought to thought.... this is how my mind works and as I type I just am letting my mind go at Joy speed.

So why can't I find out who I really am and stop the act? Why is it so hard for me to think that people really could and do like me for me? Why is it that I don't like who I am as a person or stop seeing looking back at me in a mirror this ugly mess? Why do I fear the rejection of man and God?

Is it the fact I don't like this person I have become over the years and that I can't see why other people would..... Fear and rejection is the only real part to me that I know. Yes all of what I said in the above makes me this mess of a person and to let people know this... scares me the most. So why did I open this book more to make people feel bad for me.. no. I did it because this is who I'm finding I really am.

And I have to let go of what people really think...But if I wasn't this....I'd be someone else and how do you then be who you really are.

Note: no one... no one needs to reply I am just clearing my head at one in the morning. If you do comment don't say anything you don't mean or try to preach. I know what has to be said my brothers have said it a thousand times. I just have a low self image and that is I guess who I am... what you say could never tell me different. I have to once again change, I just don't know how.

Note: V-day just makes me sad.. sorry you read this blog, if you have gotten this far.

2006-02-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

Saskatchewan Trip

I don't really know how to make a blog with pictures so here is my try.
They really jump around so I'll start with the group shot. Myself, Grace and my friend Jeamie went down to Caronport ( near moosejaw) for a get together in memorie of our friend Faye.
All her close friends came to remember the great things she had done and great time we had with her, so this trip was happy and sad.
I was able to see her grave for the first time, I was a ball of tears... {Jeamie and I were sick and all of us had not to much sleep so it was a very emotional day.}

So on a lighter note.. today we left early, said our last good byes and since we gained and hour went the other way from Alberta in look for Corner Gas .
Stopped by the moose for some sweet pictures and Tim Horton for breakfast. ( top picture?)
The rest should be of " Dog River" (I can't spell the real name), we had so much fun and put our names on places they won't see on set but that we know are there when we watch. I have so many more but I could only post a few. Drove back today got lost, wrote this, going to bed.

Note: sorry I will learn to spell one day;)
Note: grammer too!

2006-02-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

Men Fact or Fiction?

I was looking up the word man or men tonight in the dictionary an this is what came up.
Man, n.
1) a human being
2) a.) an adult male human being. b.) sometimes a boy
3) an adult male servant, follower, attendant, or subordinate.

Now lets stop there for a moment.... just think about the last ones.

4) a person with qualities conventionally regarded as manly, such as strength, courage,etc.
5) a.) a husband b.) a lover? ( ok the question mark isn't really there)

So I ask again, men.... Fact or fiction?

2006-01-29T00:18:00.000-08:00

Awkward Banter

Two men walk into Boston Pizza, one carrying 30 feet of rope.
The waitress (me) says .....'Whatever I did to you, I'm so sorry!'
'Oh, the rope is because we're going water skiing after lunch', one man replies.
Five minutes later the waitress clued in.... it's winter!

Note: I never found out what the rope was for but they passed it off to another man that came in.

2006-01-26T13:43:00.000-08:00

Oil Change $39, Finding things wrong $700, being broke priceless.

Yesterday I had an oil change for my car ( my first since buying ), I go back to pick it up and I hear that I have a few things wrong, telling me what they are and that he will price it up.
I'm standing there saying ok but I have no clue what any of the things were.
Now why would the guy think, this girl knows her cars... or is it that I have sucker written across my forehead.
Well the latter would be true, when it comes to cars I'll pay anything if someone thinks there's something wrong.
Now I would let some of the things go without being fixed.... if I wasn't going on a trip coming up.
I'm going with my sister and friend, down to see the husband and sons of my friend who died last year ( in a car crash) the day after she died. I know God is in full control... but I also want to know that my car is in the best top shape it can be. So I may not be the richest woman or have the most knowledge of cars, but knowing my car and friends are safe is priceless.

Note: Spelling bad, grammer worse, T.A. no longer.

2006-01-22T21:40:00.000-08:00

To Be Or Not To Be...

For the last week all around me people have been suffering the arrows of misfortune.
Why is it that little things in life can hurt us and impact us to such a degree?
Tonight as I sit and write this I'm frustrated.. I don't know why... and so I'm getting more frustrated.
When life gets to be mundane do you think 'what do I need to change' or do you work through it 'thinking it's just a faze?'
To be in a mundane life or not to be... That is my question.

2006-01-15T12:14:00.000-08:00

30 or 25

Not to long ago my lovely sister wrote a blog call 'closet seniors', as funny and witty as the blog was I have to say she portrayed me in the wrong light. I don't think by any means that I'm acting older than my age but, rather, women today are trying to be younger.
For instance, women are subtracting from their age on a daily basis, they have creams and makeup to cover aging lines, hair dye to cover grey hairs that might show up... On and on this list goes.
Now what is wrong with a woman coming along in life wanting all the great enjoyments and wisdom that come with age?
Why do women need to act and be something they're not?
Most women want what another has or think someone always looks better.
What I think is that with age the competition comes to an end, you no longer are trying to look your best but be your best ( I know this does not apply to all older women, for they haven't grown beyond that).
With age the fun starts and you can finally enjoy the things that you really like, being able for once to put your cares of what others think aside. You see you have lived a great life and all the hard times were a starting ground for the next step in their life. Coming to the end or of what they think is the end real life starts to bloom, and if you can have this when you're young you're more alive and more woman then any clone out there today.

Note: Grace I love you ;)

2006-01-12T08:56:00.000-08:00

22 or really 102

Two days ago at work I was having really bad pain in my left foot, then yesterday it seems to be getting worse. I have this other waitress willing to work for me for today (her day off) and they tell us both ' Joy will still have to come into work, we now need the both of you.' I was so mad! I have went to work with a hurt wrist, been really sick and other people call in saying they have no clean cloths and get the day off!
Anyhow, the one willing to work for me says 'Go and get the doctor to look at it and get a doctor's note'. Now I hate going to the hospital for myself (the last time a went I was 18 for x-rays) , so I wasn't going to go, then this one manager ( same as top, not the birthday) says to me ' Joy even with a doctors note I need you to come in'... What!
Now if my foot is that bad that a doctor would write me up, you would think I would get the time off. Good workers they treat like dog poo.
So I went to the hospital, one hour in the waiting room and another two in another room. I was ready to go after an hour and a half, I still had to get to work ( I had money still from the morning I had to put in) so many people there needed help and I just had a sore foot.
The doctor finally came (I'm thinking he's just going to laugh in my face) you know what he tells me...... I have Arthritis! I have to get a week off of work and take pills to get the swelling to go down. The first thought that came to my head was am I 22 or 102? Arthritis?.... My age?...
Well, I know now why my foot hurt so much.

Note: As I write this I'm still ready for them to call me into work, not that I will go.

2006-01-08T23:22:00.000-08:00

Designated Driver

So tonight I had a birthday party to go to for my manager, Aaaaahhhh! I was so board! And where do they have the party?... Boston Pizza! I'm with a group of people from work and I think ' o.k. the night won't be that bad, I know everyone here'. Well they start to order drink and are asked who the DD was going to be. ' Joy' all around remark, ' she doesn't drink'. From then on out the remarks and drinks come flying. The talk was all ' Lets teach Joy about the birds and the bee's'.
I was so board and I felt bad that this was how they party, a group of women talking like sailors and drinking much more then any sailor... I'm sure. They complain about their weight but will down four to five drinks in an hour. I was just so happy tonight for the group of friends that I do have, they can have fun without having anything in them.
Then they start to bug the other staff and who gets to here about it.... me! At least three times tonight I got into trouble for something the others did. I cleaned up after them, I had to drive them when they keep sticking things in my face and ears. ( I know... I didn't have to drive them, but I didn't want to hear it at work for the next couple of weeks what a downer I was).
However, there was a good thing that came out of this.... well both bad and good. This lady I work with her friend and friend's husband were in a car crash the other night in St. Albert. Her friend is having a baby and is only into it by six months, the baby right now has a 50/50 chance to live and she has a lot of body damage. Her Husband's side of the car was hit so he is in very bad shape. ( that's the bad part) The good part is, I asked if I could pray for them. "yes" was her reply, I star to pray in my head and she asks when am I going to start. Now at that point it was only her, myself and one other. Both don't believe in God ( so they say) I start to pray, when I'm done they said "thats all there is to it?" "yep". It was a small part to my bad night but I hope it got them thinking and that God can uses this for his good and glory.

Note: by no means am I a saint but I don't like to waste my money and time on something I'm going to forget the next morning and feel sick for all day.

2006-01-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

Mating in captivity

You can thank Grace for the header. The comment, however, started me thinking about how we as humans in a way all mate in captivity. I'm really going off the wall here, but this is my thoughts....
We all have a pattern, a dance... you can call it in finding a mate. Many rules apply-
No Freedom, we all are bound to a way of flirting and rules. {even though we may say we hate them and want to do away with them, we abide by them anyway - stinkin' natural life cycles etc... - G.S.}
Why is it that we can't just tell people how we really feel?
Rules:
#1: You both need a common knowledge of "liking one another" before one makes the first move.
#2: The hair toss is the clincher move. Never use it too early on (or boys, you might just scare her off!)
#3: Never look the girl straight in the eyes, for more than a few seconds (If your not ready for marriage) {also a clincher move... unless of course you have a lazy eye, and/or glass eye/cataracts/happy face contact lens - G.S.}
#4: To be nice to a woman is asking for deep trouble, whether you like her or not... because women are trouble.
#5: Never wash your hands after using the bathroom, that's just giving her false expectations
#6: Bad pick up lines can capture a woman's heart better then any flowers.
#7: Just tell her she looks fat in all her clothes, we learn not to ask after the tenth time (kidding, we'll never learn!)
#8: Aim low and try to look good after marriage not before.
#9: The "hand holding dance" is just a waste of time and we know you don't like it, just tell us how you ' feel' that's better than physical affection.... {although cuddling after is nice too. After what? ... get out of the gutter - after sharing your feelings of course} grace's adendum.
#10: Forget all you think about women, not one is alike (what worked with your old girlfriend might not work every time.... Unless you're looking for a Stepford Wife)

WARNING!! The views expressed in this blog, although eloquent are not a true representation of my thoughts and/or feelings.
Signed, the incredible (some may say desperate) duo Joy & Grace "Stepford" Schienbein

2005-12-29T23:16:00.000-08:00

Bad day
I never want to be a downer with my blog or people to feel sorry for me, but then I remembered what a blog was for me. You can read it you can comment on it but its a way to get my thoughts down and not just rolling around in my head hurting me more.
Today I got up went and worked my butt off and came home to enjoy my friends for the hoildays. ( all I could think about at work was how much fun they all were having together)
I come home and no one was here, no telling of where they went, no 'Joy come and join us after work' or someone coming to get me and join in all the fun. And even if I did know where they were I'm not the person to just show up. So that made me sad. and that was my day.

2005-12-29T08:32:00.000-08:00

Unstoppable force defeated

For the last couple nights my friends and I have been playing a t.v triva game. Now my brother and friend Aaron have a vast amount of triva knowledge , every time we play a game when we're together the two combined are unstoppable. ( add our friend Cory and you might as well congratulate them and put the game away before you start)
I must admit that the first time we played I cheated :( They would go six spaces and then I put them back five.) So last night once again Dave and Aaron are a team, and we made sure Cory on another. Well first they had to get Joy's a big cheater out the way, ' don't let her by the board', just for fun and I did deserve it. Well we ended the game ( with out me cheating) Dave and Aaron last!!!

Note: Dave was tired and so was my other brother, Aaron was mainly by himself.
Note: Cory's team won, that man is a dictionary
Note: Came in second, don't care because we still beat the unstoppables
Note: Blog boring, don't care because we beat the unstoppables

2005-12-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

12 Days of Chrismas

For the last two days this '12 Days of Christmas' song has been plaguing me. When do the 12 days begin? Do they start 12 days before X-mas and go on until that day or do they start the very day itself. Now I have been asking different people and they have come up with ' I believe it begins on Christmas day and carries on to the ukranian Christmas' or 'It's the 12 days before' and act like I'm stupid for asking such an easy question.
But when does your true love start to give you these insane gifts of love? And what are you to do with these gifts?
Five golden rings! I think that's over kill. Maids a milking? Lords a leaping? swans a swimming? Well I know the song wasn't written in Canada.
Last thing, as I look around me this year and I'm asked what do you want this Christmas, as nice as two turtle doves would be. I look to see I don't really need anything or even really want things, it's a nice feeling to have. Not to need.
Merry Christmas, God bless us everyone.

2005-12-15T22:15:00.000-08:00

Mind Reader

Well today was along day for me, for my morning shift they called me in early and then I was the last to leave at three to start again at five. Then this one lady I work with was sick and needed to go home and I was the only one who could cover her shift in the bar ( which I told them when I started I never wanted to work, but the money is better over on that side, the question I have to ask myself however is, 'being a Christian is it wrong to work in a bar?").
Anyhow on with my story, I was almost done my shift at 10:30 pm and the bar tender was taking over the tables.
I over heard these two guys say what they were going to order when she wasn't around, so before she went to the table I bet her ten bucks what they were going to eat ( I guess that to is wrong). She agreed, went over and sure enough with the first guy I'm right. So before the next guy orders she says and your having the stake, he looks at her in surprise and say "Yes how did you know!", " Just a hunch" she replied. Comes back to me, " Was I right or was I right?" I smile in victory " Yes! Are you some kind of mind reader?". Me not being able to carry anything on, told her I over heard and asked if I still got my money. Ya, I can say I came home not ten buck richer that for sure, but then a little later she forgot another order and asked me again if I had heard. " You were on the other side of the building!" I replied " Yes but you're the mind reader, take a go at it". I just have to say I was two for two.
Well for lack of a better blog and wanting to tell someone my boring story, you get a look into the everyday works of a ' Bit of Joy'.

2005-12-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

Old Men, why?

I have to say my luck with men is bad, but lately it just seems to be getting worse.
I never have had men under the age of fourty hit on me and they seem to be getting older and older as the days go by. I had one old guy ( around 70) two nights ago say to me he'd pay the bill and his wife would join another table. Then he adds since his wife will be busy for the next hour would I like to go home with him.
Then another day I have a group of guys all in their 50's hitting on me. Now I don't mind a guy a bit older, but this is getting too old and the older they are the dirtier they seem to be. If I wanted old I would scope out the old folks home here in Cold Lake.
Another thing I don't understand is, why the older men seem to be so dirty? I thought back in there day they were gentlemen? What happend? What is it about me that says, old men over 50 come hither?
AAAHHHHHHHH!
That is all...

2005-12-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

Foot meet mouth once Again

I think that over the space of a couple of months this foot and mouth disorder is getting to be worse and worse. Before I know it, not only have I shoved my foot in my mouth but half of my leg has gone with it.
The other day at work, the owner of BP'S is putting up Christmas tree's all over the store. We got to talking about Christmas and growing up in a big family ( she also comes from a family of 8 siblings) and I was saying how I love tacky Christmas tree's where nothing on the tree matches.
Later on when I was done work I asked her if she needed any help, she replied no she didn't want any tacky looking tree's around the store. I thought o.k. and went to eat some lunch with friends. A little while later ( get ready here the foot comes) I take a look at the tree she has spent the last hour on, it was red and gold, ribbon and bows, with a gold angle to top.
With just a little thought I said " Sylvia, I thought you didn't want a tacky tree". ( Right there, was one of my most shameful moments with my disorder, well that and saying 'death will become you' to someone, or 'she killed him' and it turns out the guy really is dead, 'I could give you a ride but it will cost you' to a customer when they asked me for a ride home. On and on I could go and I'm sure my friends could add to this this).
I think if I can't over come this little problem, I'll be out of a job, friends and losing family. Why is it so hard for me to think first? Maybe I should have thought it out before writing this, but to late...

2005-12-01T20:37:00.000-08:00

Count Down

I'm now on my big count down till Christmas. Before I knew it I heard marry Christmas from a customer and it hit me, " Wow, Christmas is 24 days away!" I get so caught up in work, and that fact we had no snow didn't help. Now I'm in a little bit of a panic, I have so many people to buy for and no real time to shop. You know how you just want to find the perfect gift that fits each person, but with the stores so full it's hard to get it all done in one day.
Today I made a Christmas cd and sat infront of our fake fire place with a cup of tea. It was so nice!.. just part of this holiday I love so much, I can't wait to put up our tree, make a ginger bread house, snow forts, go skating, but finding the time is another thing. I guess I should have gone shopping today but it's not so fun on your own.
Oh, to be young again having the Christmas holiday time off of school, with all you friends together, thinking of fun things to do with your time and the only work you have is maybe a job or two around the house. My sister always said to me, " Joy, enjoy being your age, being young because it all goes by so fast". I really wish sometimes I didn't spend all my time trying to grow up and be older, it really does go by so fast! I'm not old by any means but holidays just don't have the same enjoyment they once did. And they seem to come and go so much faster then when I was younger, Christmas seemed to take forever and now it seems like we just had Christmas not that long ago.
We'll the store's here in Cold Lake are closed and so I sit in my living room writing this, if only I had a visa I would be shopping now instead.
Oh well life must go on.....So this is Christmas.

2005-11-22T22:51:00.000-08:00

Flower Crushing

I was talking with my sister the other day about this friend named Joris we have. Then he called last night, and it got me thinking to share a little about him. Now Joris is such a sweet guy, 29, single and will do just about anything not to be. He has signed himself up to Christian internet dating, been out on dates with the girls he meets on them and has even flown over to different countries to meet these women.
Now it has gotten to us for years why, for such a nice guy things never seem to work out, he has even taken his dates out flying ( he flys a little plane, not a toy one). Grace was telling me this analogy our friend Bill gave for why Joris fails so often, I just loved it because it fits him so well.
She told me to think of his relationships as this: A little boy goes out and finds this beautiful flower, the flower smells wonderful and has so much to offer. Now this little boy picks the flower and is headed home to show his mother, but along the way, the closer he gets the more excited he becomes. Holding the flower harder and harder until he crushes the flower and there is nothing left.
When I heard this, I thought how right the analogy was suited to him. He starts to date a women and then right away is thinking about marriage, or to be fair he just wants to spend all his free time with her, when she's not to sure what to think of him. When he called I said I would write a blog about this, it was not to be mean ( so I hope I'm not coming across in that light) I just like the analogy. Because that just Joris! The Flower Crusher.

2005-11-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to see if this works

I was trying to change the color of this blog and it hasn't seemed to be working. So the idea hit me to write a blog to see if it has worked. So here it is, I now hope to see a change.

2005-11-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

Sweet, Cute, and Funny

Tonight at work it was non stop busy and I was getting tired. This young girl ( about 13) came up to me, She taps me on the arm and says " Wow, you're pretty!" , then runs out the door to her family. I was still standing in the same spot, when the delivery drive ( such a great guy) puts his hand on my back, holding his head low and shaking it says " poor little girl", this left me confussed " What?" was my reply. " Poor girl she must have bad eye sight". He smile, laughs and walks away. I couldn't be mad at him his timing was perfect, I would have done the same thing. I had so many come backs for him but he also was out the door. Such a small part to my night but it left me smiling.

2005-11-15T15:01:00.000-08:00

I finally get it

It has taken me year to get to this thought, I finally understand what the problem is with wanting to be married but why so many of us are staying single. Ready.. here it is, we're too picky. Now I know that being picky is a good thing but too often we vote out all our own ideas as well. In our minds we stay with what we know, but when the person comes along that matches our ideas we find all the little faults with them. I know that I have made up in my mind, this perfect person that no human can ever stand up beside, we're human we all have faults but in your head this person that we want to marry is perfect. Never one to have a fight with, laughs at all our jokes, thinks we're wonderful all the time, wants to do everything we like. Ha! Looking at any marriage can tell me otherwise. The guy won't get up in the morning looking his best, the woman won't have her hair and makeup done, there will be things we fight about. It's not bad to have standards or things to look for, I just find that so many single people I know are single because they don't give chances to the people around, the people God brings into our lives. I hear from people all the time ' Joy, you need to move away to find a guy' that might be true, it could also be God can bring the guy to Cold Lake. It has to be His timing, but we also have to be open to what He may bring. I find I tend to like guys who I know will never like me back... safety. That way I'll never be rejected by them, I won't find I don't match up to this perfect ten that they are looking for. And when I find that a guy likes me, I start to look for his faults, something must be wrong with him! This is what has been coming to my mind lately, that I have to be open to God whether someone comes into my life or not. In all things be ready! And not to push people away just because they are not my perfect ten.
Note:You may agree or not agree, this is just something God has been telling me.
Note: By now you must know I have trouble spelling, It's just something I'm not perfect at.

2005-11-14T01:35:00.000-08:00

Spiritual Abundance
The Quest for the Presence of God in Daily Life.

Note: I'm putting this at the top, to say this blog is just me going on and on. A lot of things in this blog are thoughts I had, Which even I don't agree with any more. My thought's were just a guide to this book which helped me and the road I took to get there.

I was looking for a book the other night to read and this one ' Spiritual Abundance' just jumped off of the shelve, O.k. maybe not jumped more like it fell when I hit some over. I read the title and thought ' I need to read this!'.
Since I left Bible school four years ago, I have felt like I was missing God in my life. Church after a while started to make me upset, everytime I tried to help out in the Church my help never seemed needed. And I kept getting jobs that are hard for me to have time off to help or do things with even friends.
So last year I gave up trying, I thought to myself 'if the Christians didn't want me or my help, then I don't want them'. And right then things started to become harder ( not that I gave up on being a Christian, I just thought I did), I couldn't sleep at night, the Christian friend I did let into my life and would answer the phone for died. Did I say then ,' o.k. God'
No, it's funny I never really knew what hardening the heart ment until this year. And boy did I harden, 'God didn't want me, he would take anyone else just not me I wasn't good enough' these were my thoughts ' if the Chruch and Christians didn't want me and they were his people, then for sure my whole Christian life up to that point had just been in my head, God never wanted me either.' The thing that frustrated me was I knew all the right words to say to answer my own questions and when people would try and talk to me I became more frustrated. Then I turned to the thoughts God must hate me ' I prayed to be thin, and I'm still not. I prayed to be married, still not.'
I knew why they weren't being answered, I wanted Him to be my doll, for me to be in control. Same thing with the church I see now, I wanted to be needed but I was putting all my wants in the church to help me look good, not God.
Nights started getting harder, Church a torture. And fear of never really being or becoming a Christian, was great on my mind, I never want to go to hell. But my thought's still came that no matter how many times I asked to be a christian it wouldn't be good enough.
Then I started to read Christian books and take notes in church, no the rejection was still there.
The night I hit the book off the shelve I think I was ready and open to read anything.
Reading the title 'Quest for the presence of God in daily life' just hit me, the writer is a pastor and even when you have a job helping in the church, your life can still feel like you're not doing your best or not wanted.
The back said: ' Spiritual Abundance calls us to move beyond distractions and discover the authentic life God has given us' , ' spiritual abundance can help you find the resources to transform your life with eternal and spiritual significance.'
I have to say the first chapter did nothing for me, but the second chapter was about the breath of God, something I never studied before.
These are just parts from the book that hit me as I end this very long blog, I haven't gotton my life fully back on track, but that's just life ups and downs. God came to save the sinners, and that's all Christians are I have to remind myself daily.

- ' The recovery of one's spiritual capacity begins when the heart turns back to God, regardless of how tough the road has been.'
-' Genuine existence is more that simply being alive. The secular "good life" is not enough to give our time here on earth meaning.'
-' Our spirituality is the point of contact where eternal life begins through our relationship with Jesus the Christ.'

2005-11-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

Nyah

Last night I was taking care of Nyah and she is always such a joy. I take a look at her and see what a wonderful thing humans are. How babies take everything in, knowing right from wrong, picking up speach so quickly. They watch every move we make and can repeat it so well, even when you think they're not looking. ( No I didn't teach her anything bad).
Anyhow last night she was so cute, I was reading her a book of animal sounds and when I got to the last page ( which is an owl) I made the sound , she put her little hand on my arm to get my attention, looked right into my eyes and started saying a long sentence ( very serious).
I finished with saying the end and closed the book. She takes the book from out of my hands, opens it back to the last page waiting for me to say the sound. So I do, and once again she looks deep into my eyes and starts to talk, all her words the same as before. This happend four times, the last time she looked like she was stressing the last words, looking harder into my eyes. I think Jeamie is teaching the poor girl chinese, when Chris isn't looking.
She's not talking yet but will answer you with a nod or shake of her head.
Last night just left me in wonder of what an amazing creation we are.
Jeamie must just love being a mom, how could any woman not! Each day is something new and wonderful, and each habbit they learn is what you teach them.
That's all folks!

2005-11-07T12:34:00.000-08:00

Friends

Tonight I was thinking about my friend that just past away this last year Feb. 9/05, how much life she lived in her short time. She past away at 23 leaving behind two young boys , husband, and she had just finished her nursing. She was always filled with stories, and loved to put on parties for everyone.
Faye was one of a Kind!
I some time think what we would have been planning or doing right now if she had still been alive, or the silly things we would talk about.
I can't stop myself sometimes from crying, when I think of what we were doing this time last year and that it was such a short time ago.
I wrote this for myself after she died, I'm not saying I did it right or that it's even one of my best poems, but it's about her and that's what makes me love it:

GOODBYE FAYE:
Two small boys without their mother,
A husband without his partner,
Parents without their daughter.
Death has taken toll.

Younger siblings now without the elder,
A group of friends now one smaller,
Weeping has come and taken hold of all.

In an instant the world has changed, never to be the same.
Lives now searching for whats next, now that death has taken best.
To our friend, sister, mother,wife, and daughter....
May you Rest in Peace.

Faye we love you!

2005-11-05T03:10:00.000-08:00

Time Lost

All have been, or at least all have believed themselves to be, in danger from the pursuit of someone whom they wish to advoid; and all have been anxious for the attention of someone whom they wished to please. - Jane Austen

I find this statment to be so true coming from a woman who has past on some time ago now. Thousand of years go by... then hundreds, have we as humans changed? In some ways... yes, in human nature... no.
Why is there this need to be needed? I find that all through my life I have relied to much on what other people think and we have all been there to one degree or another. ( some more then others, but we have all been there)
I find that I care to much what others think ( as you can tell from my writing 'the outside view') how I come across to people, why they might not like me, what it is about myself I can change and I don't know how to stop.
With each person I become someone different, molding myself to how I can fit in. Why?.. And is it sin?
I know that I shouldn't want to be of this world, only in it, but how can one stop?
Tonight I was watching a movie about stations in life and the parts that people play, and the parts they choose to play. I have had only one goal in life other then following God ( and I some times get out of charactor) and that was and still is to be a wife and mother. One woman in the movie had that same goal but jumped in to fast and had an unhappy marriage. But as the story unwinds it was only the life she was told to have, not really the one she wanted. Do we then sometimes go for things in life only because that's what everyone around us has done or has told us to do?.. Yes!
Not in my case, (or so I wish to think) yet I might just be trying to run ahead of God.
In my life's play, I have been the woman that men have wished to advoid ( well the one's I have liked) and have advoided men. For fear of rejection, love lost or lossing it, them not being Christian, or even strung along sometimes, the guy knowing it was only temp. Someone to do something with, well they really have a girlfriend back home. Just friends! How can guys do that! You become good friends, yet they don't see the games they are playing with your heart... but to be fair I don't know the games I'm playing at either and if I didn't like them, it would be just that... friendship.
Now I'm just going on, I don't know if this even makes sense to anyone and I don't care. Sometimes people just need to write out what is going on in their minds. I just wish God's time would come soon for I hate waiting. What is it I sometimes wonder...that's so wrong with me I can never get past the friendship stage and other times.... well I'm glad.
We have all been there at one time or another and it gives me comfort to know, I'm not the first person to go through this and I'm not the last but maybe I can help others later on who are going through the same thing I'm feeling now.

Note: This is not about any one guy
Note: This is what I think at three in the morning
Note: Forget what you read, this was just time lost

2005-11-03T23:11:00.000-08:00

When love comes knocking

I have to be honest, just come right out and say it... I'm in love. Yes, you read correctly. I am head over heels in love with..... Christmas... music. Well, Christmas in general actually. The tree, the eggnog, lights, buying gifts, the wrapping... I have even had Christmas parties starting in September.

Tonight at work, we all had the " Carol of the Bells", running through our heads, singing out loud every so often.
I even had a customer humming the tune!

As I sit and write this I'm listening to Christmas music with my sister( Grace). We got to talking about songs from our childhood and wondering if anyone else knows the Christmas Pig song by Alan Thicke.... anyone other than our family, I mean.
It goes like this...
'Wendal, Wendal the Christmas pig, got in trouble when he got to big. I just love spending Christmas with a perky piece of pork. It's to bad he had to spend it at the end of my fork!' x2

2005-11-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

Worn out

I hate the constant ring of the telephone.
The attention it demands leaves me prone.
Yet to ignore its constant ringing could drive anyone insane.
So answer it I must, to cause me no more pain.

Who will this person be... a foe or a friend?
I lift up the receiver to hear the other end.
The phone will ring again, I know... I speak in fear not doubt.
This constant ringing of the phone can wear a person out.

note: I don't know why I hate talking on phones, I just do.

2005-11-01T14:44:00.000-08:00

Out side veiw

I love to people watch and make up there lives, some I most likely make better and I have to say their are some I might make worse.
Which put me onto this thought, if we could see ourselves the way that others see us, what would we look like in their eyes and mind set.
I would love to have pleasure of being able to see myself in the eyes of passer-bys , friends, and family to know how they persive me. Not to have the to your face comments, but also the behind your back comments, to really know how you come across. Is there things to change, things to grow in. I'm I coming across as a Child of God, a fence sitter, or just another lost person looking for the light. I'm I to loud, to quite (I know this one, and I'm not asking for people to tell me, most would just be to nice or come across rude) I just was thinking to be able to have that experience would be interesting.
Most often then not , it is easier to listen to the bad things about ourselves and take them to heart, then the good.
To have an out side look at our lives, now that would be something.

Note: I know I'm a bad speller, please forgive, my spell check won't work.

2005-10-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

Roads Not Taken

I was out walking with my sister the other day and we came to a yellow wood with two diverging roads, one was paved and the other was mossy, reminding us of the Robert Frost poem ( which I love) it didn't take us a second thought to pick.
Into the wood we trod with the sun shining through the trees..... breathtaking. As we went I tripped over a tree stump and fell into a puddle of mud but on we went. There we found tree forts ( which I want to believe elves made and also parts that reminded me of the Narnia tales) It felt like we had been walking for a time untill we hit the clearing. As we turned and headed back time seemed to speed up, and we were right back to the diverging roads. Then the thought came to me " To go forward is so much more exciting then going back" going back you know what to look for, what's ahead. Sure I fell, got dirty, but if I had stopped right then and there going back to what I know, I would have never seen the beauty and the creativity that lay beyond.
That's life to me... right there in one afternoon walk. To stay with what we know and never move forward, or stopping when we get hurt, would make us miss out on all the great, beautiful things that are just a few steps ahead.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference" - by Robert Frost

2005-10-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

Anything

It has been so long since I've been on here, that I'm sure no one is reading this site. Making me able to write anything and everything. Aaron this is for you, I was going to write about sailing and what a great " duty" you do for the navy. Then the thought came to me what " duty" a bunch of grown men sitting around on a boat in the middle of the ocean, what do they real do? I don't know what to write.... so I'll end with... Three sailors walk into a bar....haha